the day you were born

On Friday evening December 17th, Kevin dropped the kids off at my parents while I finished the final packing preparations for our departure early the next morning. We were scheduled to be induced at 7:30 am on December 18th 2010. I had such a mixture of emotions that evening. Excited beyond measure to finally meet and hold my newborn son, sad that this was my last day to be pregnant and nervous and scared for the unknown of how the next day would unfold. I tossed and turned that night and slept until around 3 am. Kevin awakened at that time as well...most likely from all the tossing and turning I was doing. We got out of bed around 4am, took showers, loaded the car, placed the car seat in the backseat, and pulled out of the driveway at 6:45am.
We arrived at the hospital and I was escorted by wheelchair to the room where I would deliver my son 10 1/2 hours later.
I was given a medication to soften the cervix and start contractions going...and let me tell you, those contractions kicked in right away. It was quickly evident that I was having back labor. My wonderful coach stayed by my side the entire time the whole day...not even taking a break to eat. I felt the most relief when using the stability ball, but baby didn't like it as much as I did...his heart rate dropped a bit...so I had to stop using the ball and lie down for fifteen minutes. I decided I wanted to get up and walk the halls, but as I was heading for the door the contractions increased in intensity and were excruciating. We decided it was a good time to get the epidural. So back into bed I climbed.

My coach gives the best foot massages.

The epidural immediately gave me relief from the intensity of the contractions and I was feeling so much better....thinking to myself, now I can relax and enjoy the rest of my labor.

Forty minutes later, six nurses came rushing into our room and began moving me into different positions. I asked what was happening and they said very little to me...only that baby's heart rate was too low. They gave me an oxygen mask to wear and told me to take deep breaths. It was a very scary few minutes. Finally his heart rate returned to normal after five minutes...being on my hands and knees is what they felt took the pressure off his umbilical cord. Contractions were coming strong...one right on top of another. I didn't feel them much at this point because of the epidural, but the doctor said that also may have been what caused the baby to be under stress. If his heart rate would have stayed down for three more minutes, an emergency C-section would have needed to be done. His heart rate dropped three more times after that, I was sure that I would have to have a C-section. I really didn't want to go that route, but obviously would do whatever needed to be done to make sure our little guy arrived safely.

The nurses felt lying on my back would be the best position for me and would keep pressure off the cord. I was miserable though. I felt like I couldn't breathe very well. I just wanted to sit up. Finally I asked one of the nurses if I could sit up and I did. I felt like I could breathe again and just felt so much better. It was from that point on that baby's heart rate stayed strong and normal. I was feeling renewed and refreshed again at this point in the day...enjoying this stage of my labor.

Here's Kevin updating his status on Facebook once again.

Contractions continued and I started feeling them more again...breathing through each one.
I started dilating quickly going from 4cm to 7cm to 9.5cm.

It's almost time.
It was time to start pushing. I was feeling rested, excited and ready. After a few practice pushes I felt the adrenaline kicking in.

Half an hour passed and pushing started to intensify.

An hour and a half passed and still pushing...not giving up...giving it every ounce of energy I had.
Feeling exhausted at this point, I didn't know if I could do this. Kevin was an amazing support and encourager. I couldn't have done it without him. Love that man! And after two excruciating hours of pushing and pain...

...our miracle son, Deacon Liam Bontrager, came into this world weighing 7 pounds 3 ounces and measuring 21 1/2 inches.

They placed him on my chest and Kevin cut the cord. Notice the nurse with the stethoscope isn't smiling, but very serious. Deacon was not crying or breathing at this point. They also were not finding a heart beat. About as quickly as they placed him on my chest, they whisked him away to several NICU nurses that were waiting in our room just in case because of his low heart rate earlier.

Another very scary time for us. I kept asking the nurse why he wasn't crying and she just squeezed and held my hand. Finally we heard his first cry after what seemed like forever...sweet music to our ears.

Deacon: Servant, Messenger Liam: Protector

Kevin held him first and brought him over to me.

And I felt an overwhelming instant sense of joy and love for this little guy...the exact same feeling I felt three other times in my life.Here is our awesome family waiting so patiently in the waiting area to celebrate our baby's arrival.
Here is Kevin sharing the news with BIG brother Caedmon.He's finally telling them the name of their new baby brother. They've been waiting and anticipating this day for a long time.
And sweet little Luca Bella, only 16 months old, has no idea what's going on....she just likes the extra attention she's been getting from grandma.

Finally meeting their baby brother for the first time.

Caedmon has a brother.



BIG sister, Kaiya is going to be a big help. The last couple of weeks, she was getting a little impatient and kept saying she couldn't wait to hold her baby brother. She finally gets to now.

First family photo...now a family of six.

Photography by Suzanne Michelle Photography

just in time for Christmas

Introducing Deacon Liam. Born on December 18th and weighing 7 pounds 3 ounces...measuring 21 and a half inches.

Just in time for Christmas.

baby quinn

On September 9th, we became an aunt and uncle for the thirteenth time. A niece, Quinn Ruthie, was born early that morning to Kevin's sister Joyce. What should have been a joyful day of celebrating a new life born into our family, turned into a day of tears, sadness and questions as to why God would allow her life to come to an end after a few short hours. We left the next morning for Alabama and the next few days were a mixture of joys and painful sadness. It was a comfort and a joy to all be together as a family, but a painful sadness for the reason we were there. Kevin's brother flew in from Costa Rica with their family. We hadn't seen them all since last year. It was a joy to embrace them once again. It was a joy to see the cousins playing together and loving each other...it was a painful sadness to know that one was missing.

This picture was taken the morning of the funeral. We all had breakfast together at Jason and Joyce's home. My nephew Owen put on some praise music and the grand kids started dancing and praising in the living room. It was sweet to see their innocence and joy on such a sad day...it was comforting and made me smile. Kaiya with Aunt Joyce.
Cousin Karis with Luca BellaSarah, Krista and I after the funeralSaying goodbye - Krista, Joyce, Sarah and I Dear Baby Quinn,

We have twelve nieces and nephews. You were to be our thirteenth. We anticipated your arrival with excitement and love just as we did the other twelve. I talked with your mommy a few weeks before your birth. She was on her way to one of the final doctor appointments before your arrival. I had a doctor appointment that same day. What made your arrival extra special for me was that in a few short months after your birth, I would give birth to your cousin and you would only be a few months apart. What a joy to experience this pregnancy...something I thought would never happen. What a joy to experience it together with you and your mommy! I looked forward to you two growing up together so close in age. I also envisioned our little boy picking on and tormenting you and your girly adventures.

Early on September 9th our phone rang. It was early enough that we were still lying in bed. It was also early enough that I questioned Kevin who would be calling at this time. He immediately mentioned your mommy's name and the possibility of news of your arrival. It was Grandma B. on the other line and I listened in on the conversation. I drew the conclusion that you had arrived and excitement filled me. I also sensed that there may have been a complication. After getting off the phone, Kevin shared about your arrival, your beautiful name and the news that your heart rate was low. We prayed right then, and I felt in my heart that you would be ok.

Later on that morning we got another call from Grandma. You were still struggling, but your heart rate had risen a bit. I praised God and continued praying...asking God to open up your lungs so you could breath easily and continue to gain more strength. Another phone call came and this time the news that you probably wouldn't pull through...with tears streaming down my face, I fell to my knees and begged God to touch your little body...This could not be happening...it just couldn't...it wasn't supposed to be this way...God help us.

God swept you up into His arms and as the song was sung by your uncle, you are now "Safe in the Arms of Jesus". The very next Sunday after returning home from Alabama, we sang "My Hope is Built on Nothing Less" at our church. I knew it wasn't a coincidence that we had just sang that song at your funeral, but a comforting touch from God for us at that moment.

We will forever miss you...our sweet baby niece, Quinn Ruthie. You are forever in our hearts and we will always remember you in the birth order of our nieces and nephews as number thirteen. Our arms ache to hold you and love on you. We look forward even more now to that glorious day when we will all be together in our forever home. We love you.

Psalm 139:13-16

Oh yes baby Quinn, you were shaped from the inside, then out;

you were formed in your mother's womb.

We thank God--He is amazing!

Body and soul, you were marvelously made!

We worship in adoration--what a creation!

God knows you inside and out,

He knows every bone in your body;

He knows exactly how you were made, bit by bit,

How you were sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, He watched you grow from conception to birth;

all the stages of your life were spread out before Him,

The days of your life all prepared

before you'd even lived one day.

With much love and aching arms,

aunt Sherri